With Marissa’s help, I chose to take the chance on the surgery anyway.

The next afternoon, she arrived carrying a letter from the clinic.

I had been accepted into the trial.

That night, I thought about who I had been before the diagnosis. The woman who had argued with a contractor until he rebuilt the entire back porch. The woman who selected her own paint colors and drove herself to Asheville just to see the autumn leaves.

Little by little, I had handed those parts of myself to Brian until dependence became a routine, and the routine became my identity.

For the first time in years, I was making my own decision.

The following morning, Marissa arrived at my door with coffee and a bag packed for the clinic.

“Are you still sure about this, Gina?”

Dr. Halim was careful, patient, and honest about every risk. The procedure itself took less time than I expected.

The recovery was stranger.

For two days, everything resembled a blurred watercolor painting.

On the third morning, I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling fan.

I truly saw it.

The blades, the pull chain, even dust gathered along the edges.

I cried for an hour.

A few days later, once Dr. Halim was satisfied I could safely manage, Marissa drove me home.

I stood in my hallway staring at details I had forgotten existed.

“The curtains are blue,” I whispered. “I thought they were green. Brian always said it was green.”

“They’ve been blue the whole time,” Marissa said carefully.

I moved through each room like a stranger being shown someone else’s home.

The photographs on the mantel.

The chip in the coffee table.

My own reflection in the bathroom mirror, older than I remembered but unmistakably mine.

“I don’t want to tell him yet,” I said. “I want him to walk in and see me seeing him.”

Marissa smiled, although cautiously.

“Whatever you want, Gina.”

She left that afternoon after promising to check on me.

Alone in the quiet house, I suddenly remembered the boxes of Christmas lights Brian claimed were stored in the garage.

He had mentioned them countless times over the years. Boxes of tangled lights left from the previous December, waiting in the garage. I wanted to hang them across the living room.

I had not seen Christmas lights glow in years.

I walked toward the door at the back of the kitchen, the one I had not opened in longer than I could remember.

My hand rested on the knob.