***
Our marriage was discreet. Only the family was present. I wore a cream-colored dress. Charles was wearing a nice suit.
We smiled as if we were 20 years old again.
But during our first dance, I noticed something. Charles’s smile did not reach his eyes.
At my age, we learn to tell the difference between sincere smiles and forced smiles. This one was forced.
During our first dance, I noticed something.
“Are you okay? “I whispered to him.
“It’s okay. I’m just happy,” he replied.
But it wasn’t okay. I could see him. I decided not to insist.
Maybe it was the marriage point. Maybe he was thinking about Conan. Perhaps he was simply overwhelmed by emotions.
But a little voice deep inside of me told me something was wrong.
Maybe it was the marriage point.
***
On the way back, Charles was strangely silent.
I tried to start the conversation. “The ceremony was beautiful, wasn’t it? »
“Yes. »
“The kids looked so happy for us. »
“That’s true. »
“Charles, are you sure you’re okay? »
He squeezed the steering wheel harder. “My head hurts, that’s all. »
On the way back, Charles was strangely silent.
Probably because of all these flowers. The perfume was very strong,” I thought with a smile.
But he just agreed to acquiesce without saying anything else.
I watched it from the passenger seat. Something was really wrong.
Once I got home, I opened the bedroom door and had my breath out.
Someone had decorated it with roses and candles. Probably my daughter.
Something was really wrong.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, delighted.
Charles did not answer. He went straight to the bathroom and closed the door.
I put on my nightgown and sat on the bed waiting for it.
Charles was still in the bathroom. I could hear the water flowing.
Was he crying?
I got up, walked up to the bathroom door and stuck my ear against it. He was crying, that was for sure.
He walked straight to the bathroom and closed the door.
My heart broke. What could upset him so much on the night of our wedding night?
“Charles? How you doing? »
“It’s okay, Ellie… It’s okay,” he replied.
Finally, the door opened. Charles came in. His eyes were red and swollen.
“Charles, what’s wrong? »
He sat on the edge of the bed, without looking at me. “You must know the truth. I can’t hide it anymore. »
What could upset him so much on our wedding night?
“What truth? »
“I deserve neither you nor your kindness, Ellie. I’m a horrible person. »
“Charles, that’s not true. Please, talk to me. »
“Do you remember the accident that claimed Conan’s life? »
My heart started beating at full speed. “Of course I remember. »
« J’ai un lien avec cet accident. Il y a quelque chose que tu ignores », a-t-il ajouté.
J’ai eu l’impression que l’air avait été aspiré hors de la pièce.
« Je suis quelqu’un d’horrible. »
“What do you mean you’re related to the accident? »
Charles finally looked at me. Tears were flowing on his face.
« La nuit où Conan est mort, il venait m’aider. Je l’avais appelé. Je lui avais dit que j’avais besoin de lui de toute urgence. »
Un frisson m’a parcourue.
“What happened? Why did you need him? »
Charles looked the other way. “It doesn’t matter why. What matters is that I called him and he was rushing to come and see me. »
“And he was hit by that drunk driver,” I said.
“The night Conan died, he came to help me. »
“Yes. If I hadn’t called him, he wouldn’t have been on that road. He wouldn’t have been there at that moment. It’s my fault, Eleanor. I killed my best friend. »
