“What’s all that noise?”
“No.”
“I’m serious, Shannon.”
“So am I.”
I ended the call.
***
By evening, the old house still had dusty windows and a sticking front door, but the cribs stood ready.
The day Ryan returned, Mom stayed there with the babies. Shaun waited nearby.
“I’m serious, Shannon.”
I sat alone in our kitchen with my ring and the legal folder.
Ryan walked in, filming himself.
“Back to real life.”
Then he saw the empty baby spaces.
“Where are they?”
“Home.”
“This is their home.”
“Back to real life.”
“No. This is where I raised them alone.”
He opened the folder.
“You filed for divorce?”
“I started the process.”
“Shaun did this. He convinced you. He’s always hated me!”
I stood.
“You filed for divorce?”
“Shaun carried furniture. Mom watched the babies.”
I met his eyes.
“And I left you.”
Ryan turned toward the hallway.
“You moved the babies while I was gone?”
“I moved them somewhere I wasn’t raising them alone.”
“And I left you.”
His eyes dropped to the folder. “You’re keeping them from me.”
“No. The proposed schedule is inside. You wanted family to be someone else’s job, so now you can learn yours.”
“This is because of one trip?”
“The trip wasn’t the problem. It was the first time you said the truth out loud.”
He stared at me.
“You thought earning money meant you owned my time, my rest, and every choice in this house.”
“You’re keeping them from me.”
“Shan, we wanted those babies for years.”
“I still want them. You wanted the photos to post online.”
His face tightened. “You made me look terrible.”
“No, Ryan. You did that.”
***
Weeks later, he came to the old house for his first full visit.
Luna kicked beneath the play gym. Soleil slept nearby. Bodhi rested against Ryan’s chest.
“You did that.”
“I can help now,” he said.
“Helping is optional. Parenting isn’t.”
He looked around the warm, imperfect house. “Is there any chance for us?”
“No.”
The answer came easily.
***
After he left, Mom joined me on the porch.
The answer came easily.
I listened to my babies stirring inside.
“No. I regret how long I believed keeping my family together required losing myself.”
I opened the screen door.
Ryan had taken a vacation because he thought I hadn’t earned a break.
I built a life where I no longer needed his permission to breathe.
“Do you regret it?”
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