dinner
before Matilda, their mother, realized something was wrong and pushed it out of him.
And just like that, I was back there.
“Andrew didn’t leave her.”
***
Cold bleachers, my hands shaking, and Andrew staring at me like he knew something was wrong.
“What is it?” he’d asked. “Heather, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
He went white. Then he took both my hands. “Okay. Okay, babe.”
I remember staring at him. “Okay?”
“We’ll figure it out,” he said. His voice was shaking, but he didn’t let go of me. “Okay?”
“Heather, you’re scaring me.”
***
Back in my kitchen, Leo whispered, “So he knew.”
“Yes, I told him, honey. I promise you.”
I kept reading.
Matilda had exploded. Their father already had a transfer lined up out of state, and she decided they were leaving early. Andrew begged to come see me first. He begged to stay long enough to explain. She refused.
Then Gwen wrote the part that made my vision blur.
Andrew wrote letters, but his mother intercepted them.
Matilda had exploded.
I didn’t get one.
I pushed back so hard my chair scraped.
“No.”
Leo stood up. “Mom…”
“No.” I grabbed the edge of the counter. “No, there’s no way.”
“There’s more,” he said gently.
I looked at him.
He swallowed. “She says some letters were hidden. Some were thrown out, and some…” He glanced at the phone. “Some were kept in an attic box.”
“No, there’s no way.”
A box: real proof. I needed to see it.
I stared at him, then at the screen. “I spent eighteen years thinking he ran.”
Just then, my mother came through the back door carrying dinner rolls.
“I brought the good ones,” she called. Then she stopped. “Heather? What happened?”
I turned to her, still holding Leo’s phone.
“He wrote.”
She frowned. “Who?”
“Andrew.”
My father appeared behind her. “What’s going on?”
“Heather? What happened?”
I handed Mom the phone. She read the message thread while Dad read over her shoulder.
Mom’s face changed first. “Ted,” she whispered. “He wrote to her.”
Dad swore under his breath.
Leo looked between us. “You didn’t know?”
“If I’d known that Andrew wanted to be involved,” my father snapped, “I’d have gone to that house myself.”
“Ted,” Mom said.
“He wrote to her.”
“No, Lucy. That woman let our daughter think she was abandoned.”
His voice cracked on the last word, and that was what finally broke me.
It was my father almost crying in my kitchen because someone had stolen years from me and from Leo.
My son crossed the room and put his arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know it was going to be like this.”
I pulled back and grabbed his face. “Don’t apologize for telling me the truth, honey. I need you to know that I’m not mad at you.”
His voice cracked on the last word.
His eyes were wet, too.
“So, he didn’t leave?” he asked.
I pressed my hand over my mouth and shook my head.
“No, baby. I think he was kept from us.”
The kitchen went silent.
A minute later, Leo said, “Gwen wants to meet us. She says she still has the box.”
That was all it took to get us moving.
The kitchen went silent.
***
By six, Leo and I were in my car heading two counties over, with my parents following in Dad’s truck like this was now a family operation.
Leo kept rereading Gwen’s messages. I kept both hands on the wheel because if I let go, I thought I might come apart.
Gwen lived in a small white house with flowerpots drooping on the porch. My parents promised to stay in the truck unless we needed them. She opened the door before we knocked.
She had Andrew’s mouth. That nearly took my knees out.
